My Dream

People!!Nels Dzyre is wishing you all GOOD MORNING! its 1 o'clock anyway.

Do you have a dream? more like ambition or whatever it is. Basically it is something that you wanna do and you can't do but you still want to do and you were hoping you will do. Just do damn it.

I have a dream too. But more like i share a dream. No, we share a dream. Back in old time, my friend Ron and I, were really into stuff like, hardware-technology-software-internet-robotic any related electronic stuff which will put under one category [Technology]

His a crazy freak. He invented stuff! Is not even a normal stuff! This guy is pure genius i can said. More then a genius he looks like a dumb ass person to me. Haha no offense Ron ( i wish he could hear me.. )

Okayyy. 17th January 2008, the day of nightmare to me. I lose half of my dream. The only dream that i have, I have lost half of it. Why is it? Why can it be? I wish I would have answer that before this things happen. Its way too late now, every mistake was pointed at me which i could never not agree with it. Its my fault my endless way of thinking makes me a SINFUL person. My very best friend had passed away. It is very sad to me. It is not just sad, i feel so dead.

I couldn't do a shit to stop it and I can't accept his death. If I were given a second chance, i will really, i will really be the correct person of that particurlaly moment. I'm a bitch and thanks to that i had lost a friend. Not just Ron, i had lost once before a lot time ago..wawyn.

I am really a sinful person. I did so many thing and this one sin that i can never forgive myself for repeating it. I had killed two of my best friends. I killed 'em. I made an unforgiven sin. I live in a regret world where i wish someone will end me by killing me the same way i killed them. But, i will never let my best friends died in vain. I will never die in this battle on earth. I will keep staying alive and face them face to face when its time. I will ask for forgiveness, i will ask for their forgiveness for just one last time. Just a forgiveness from them will clear all the sin away..

So from now on i decide that my clan ' The Sin ' which belong to my friends and me, will always be alive out there and be known so that it can be the symbol of a sin that a kid like me, like us and everyone else that had make a mistake in their life, and asking for forgiveness. Also, I will keep on trying to archive my share dream, even if it just a half that complete it.

So i guess ya'all, pen off for now aite..

take this song and get a grip of your own damn sin for now on.


Avenged Sevenfold
Afterlife

Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen
so unsure but it seems, ’cause we’ve been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

I see a distant light, but girl this can't be right
Such a surreal place to see so how did this come to be
Arrived too early

And when I think of all the places I just don't belong
I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far

I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here

A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain
Can leave this place but refrain, ’cause we've been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

This peace on earth's not right (with my back against the wall)
No pain or sign of time (I’m much too young to fall)
So out of place don't wanna stay, I feel wrong and that's my sign
I've made up my mind

Gave me your hand but realize I just wanna say goodbye
Please understand I have to leave and carry on my own life

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm ready to move on and on, far away from here
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I’d hope you might
take me back inside when the time is right

Loved ones back home all crying ’cause they're already missing me
I pray by the grace of God that there's somebody listening
Give me a chance to be that person I wanna be
(I am unbroken; I’m choking on this ecstasy)
Oh Lord I'll try so hard but you gotta let go of me
(Unbreak me, unchain me, I need another chance to live)

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm ready to move on and on, far away from here
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I’d hope you might
take me back inside when the time is right

Yet another prison like day

Hey I'm back! *wait*

I've been here all along anyway..

That's the problem don't any of you think so? I feel like I'm a wall able to reflect anything that were voice out against me. Well that basically what a wall is anyway.

Okay cut the crap. I feel like zombie again today. Half ass sleepy even though i sleep like a pig, the damn fever who love me so much and of course, nobody's home yet. Its almost 3 o'clock, my sister will be back soon. (well the fact that its not gonna change anything makes it no different) i still feel alone and bored. But yeah, that just me. Back in primary, before primary, the world really have been so cold on me. Pretty lame ass story don't you think?


CHANGE SUBJECT

I woke up, take a look on my dinner table, end up going back to my room. Why? There is no food for me to swallow. Well, its normal though. ( Hey you over there! don't feel sad for me! I hate it! )

Stuff never really change in me since i was little. Seeing weird things, people come, people leaves, people dies, yeah it never change. I keep being in the middle of all the damn things that happen which i can really said ( F*ck off nels! ) where i couldn't really said it.

Crap i need to go to toilet, behold people! Brb.

Before that, listen to this aite?

Secondhand Serenade
Half Alive

It's four am, I'm waking up to your perfume
Don't get up, I'll get through on my own
I don't know if I'm home
Or if I lost the way into your room
I'm spiraling into my doom
I'm feeling half alive but I know one day
You and I will be free,

To live and die by our own rules,
Free..
Despite the fact that men are fools.

I'm almost alive, and I need you to try
And save me.
It's okay that we're dying,
But I need to survive tonight, tonight.

Well excuse me while I get killed softly,
Heart slows down and I can hardly tell you I'm okay
At least 'til yesterday,
You know you got me off my highest guard,
Believe me when I say it's hard.
We'll get through this tonight
And I know one day you and I will be free

To live and die by our own rules,
Free..
Despite the fact that men are fools.

I'm almost alive, and I need you to try
And save me.
It's okay that we're dying,
But I need to survive tonight, tonight.

And you touch my hand ever so slightly
And the deadly look she cast upon me
I won't regret, I won't regret
I won't regret. I won't regret..

And I was trying to disappear,
But you got me wrapped around you
I can hardly breathe without you
I was trying to disappear
But I got lost in your eyes now,
You brought me down to size now.

I'm almost alive
And I need you to try and save me.
It's okay that we're dying
But I need to survive tonight, tonight
Tonight..

I'm almost alive, and I need you to try
And save me.
It's okay that we're dying,
But I need to survive tonight, tonight.
I need to survive tonight, tonight

Hey I'm back..

Look, i just have this feeling that i want to live as a normal person. Yes you can said I'm normal but to me I am not normal. Normal person don't get sick always, normal person do not have EYES of the curse and normal person will always carve smile in any part of their hearts. But i don't.

Gahh..i just lost my mood to type. Its still early, but i will just let my favorite song take over for now.

Oh yeah, was hopping she will msg me today but, hmm..i guess she's busy eh..



Avenged Sevenfold
Dear God

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
When hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Hope is hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

I am writting, or typing? whatsoever

I feel like writing today so i end up in front of my offline laptop, typing with no borders and reason to begin with. I just want to type so i end up typing OKAY (nuff said). On the other hand my sickness still love to hang on to me and never seem that they want to leave for now. Its a hellish feeling I'm having right now with this so much fever and i could barely hold a cup properly. As hell as it looks I still love listening to my music and waiting for someone to message me. She's at work right now, so i can only think of her working hard. Gambanteh!.

Hehe, now my mood is getting better. Oh wait, let me make a milo for myself first. Hold on ya..Before that, why don't you listen to this song first. Its one of my favourite!



The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Eye Watering

My love's like an arm chair.
It's inclined to recline
And sweep you off of your feet.
My structure is perfect.
There's no flaw in design.
A decent buy for you.
There's no rest for a luxury.
There's no rest for me.

Her eyes are watering
I said we're better off this way.
Things change, its happening everyday.
He'll come and take my place
And show you things that I just couldn't face.
We'll sit and sing a song
of what we did wrong.

Now that I'm used up
and my arms start to fade
you can pay to upgrade.
Or you can replace me.
Finalize my demise,
a new surprise for you.
There's no rest for a luxury.
There's no rest for me.

Her eyes are watering
I said we're better off this way.
Things change, its happening everyday.
He'll come and take my place
And show you things that I just couldn't face.
We'll sit and sing a song
of what we did wrong.

Don't tell me the worst is over now.
Don't tell me what I can see with my eyes.
Don't tell me the worst is over now.
Bend my will again, then mend it straight.

Her eyes are watering
I said we're better off this way.
Things change, its happening everyday.
He'll come and take my place
And show you things that I just couldn't face.
We'll sit and sing a song
of what we did wrong.

And maybe I'll regret you,
And maybe I'll regret you,
And maybe I'll regret you
It's all in my mind.
All in my mind .
And maybe I'll regret you,
And maybe I'll regret you,
And maybe I'll regret you.
It's all in my mind.
All in my mind.


Okay I'm back! Damn man the Milo taste good! waaha!

Okay let see.

Back then while making Milo I thought of something very funny. Almost every day last year, I will get school sick everytime I think of going to school the next day. I have to wake up early is one thing, disturb my good sleep is one thing, WORST of all is i have to listen to most of the crap teacher have almost everyDAY! That is one of the damn thing that give me the sick. But of course, I have friends that make me sick too. This one is the second damn thing though. Overall, there is one little thing that change every sickness into happiness (hahaha this sentence is funny).

ITS MY GIRL!

Ho Tian Ai, a girl born in planet called earth. Date of birth, eto...I forgot.

Kidding!

Let me type in big fonts. Hmmhm. Edit here..edit there..kao tim!

8 SEPTEMBER OF 1991

Okay let's continue about her. She is a well not-known piggy. She eats a lot. She is very noisy. She can be auntie most of the time. WORST OF ALL, she is so cuteeeeeeee ! *heart laopo*

Hey there is something fisshy here. *thinking*

Oh, She DID the same thing as ME! Hurrayyyyyy!

Haha, there is all there to it for today i guess. It is almost 4 o'clock now. I gotta rest since my head is going to fall soon due to overheat.

Well i just thought about something. This might as well go into a blog. I will put it on when i have my connection again. :}

Ta-da~

Ending Song



Yellow Card
Only One


Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up
And I give up
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up
I feel like giving up
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go, so dishonestly leave a note for you my only one, and i know you can see right through me so let me go and you will find someone

Hear i go,scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there`s just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
you are my only one